


Dream Something Up

by realbutnotsopure



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Multi, Post-The Raven King, Wedding Planning, Weddings, but he tries, he also wants help but refuses to say with what, ronan is stressed, this is in the future when adam and ronan gets married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 23:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9519956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realbutnotsopure/pseuds/realbutnotsopure
Summary: He never would've thought that expressing his love to Adam Parrish would be hard. But when it's not about what Adam wants to hear, but also what he deserves to, it's harder.Or, a wedding is coming up and Ronan still hasn't written his vows.





	

Ronan couldn’t remember a time that he had been more stressed than this. Even the time when his life had fallen apart and he’d almost died, he had been more calm. Hell, even the time his jealous and insecure ass had thought Adam was about to break up with him, he hadn’t felt this bad. And this time, it wasn’t about an ending at all.

They had worked it out in the end, Adam went after his education and, later, his career but he always came home at the end of the day. Ronan looked after Opal and spent all day doing what made him happy. There had been whispers of more kids between them and whispers of filling every room in the house with their love. But first, Adam and Blue had decided, a wedding. To have a loving and sincere gathering with their closest friends and promise their love for each other, forever. The loving part wasn’t a problem really, except Ronan wanted to give Adam the wedding he deserved and Ronan still struggled with expressing his love with words to Adam alone. And Adam, of course, wanted them to write their own vows.

Ronan had put it off for months, reassuring himself that it would come to him in time. But as the wedding came closer the words seemed more far away than ever.

 

* * *

 

Ronan first went to Gansey. An old habit perhaps, that when Ronan had gotten himself into so much trouble that he, at last, needed help, he went to Gansey. Or in this case, Ronan went to Gansey’s car. The Pig was standing there in all it’s glory and gave Ronan a weird sense of comfort. It’s owner soon appeared.

“Ronan,” Gansey greeted, his brow furrowed for a second before he smiled. His arms were full with books. Ronan opened the car door for him and Gansey dropped all of them before turning back to Ronan. “How are you?”

Ronan shrugged and Gansey’s brow furrowed again.

“I thought you’d be ecstatic. Or at least excited. Your wedding is coming up, remember?”

“I remember,” Ronan said, keeping his face still. “I’m over the moon.”

Gansey studied him for a moment, then shook his head like ‘ _what did I expect_.’ “Do you want a ride?”

He hadn’t seemed to notice that Ronan’s own car stood parked some meters away from them but Ronan nodded anyway and plopped himself down in the passenger seat. Gansey sat uncomfortably with his seat full of books.

Driving in silence, Ronan felt the need to explain himself. “I am excited. And _ecstatic._  But...”

When Ronan didn’t continue, Gansey glanced over at him and inquiringly lifted an eyebrow.

Ronan sighed.

“I haven’t done…” Ronan struggled to find the word. “It.”

Gansey’s looked confused, “Done what?”

“Something I should’ve done.”

“Oh, _that_.” Gansey replied sarcastically, and Ronan felt a touch of gratitude towards Blue and Henry, who had somehow projected some of their sarcasm unto their boyfriend.

“I don’t want to fuck it up, but-”

The air in the car became somehow tense and for a moment Ronan hesitated. Should he tell Gansey and get help, alongside with disappointment, or should he lie and ask someone else. After Adam, Gansey was the person whose disappointment hurt the worst. Ronan backtracked quickly.

“I’m not ready." 

It seemed suitable, stating the problem without saying what the problem was, but Gansey made a sharp turn and parked the car at the side of the road. He turned his entire body to face Ronan, disbelief and worry on his face. 

“You’re not ready,” he repeated. He sounded as confused as Ronan felt. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Ronan felt a sudden need to defend himself. “I don’t know, genius. What do you think I’m saying?”

Gansey hesitated, “Are you backing out?“

 _Oh_. The thought hurt. “What? No. I’m not.”

Gansey seemed relieved but still confused. Both boys were quiet for a moment as Gansey’s words sank in. Did Gansey really think that Ronan would do that. To Adam? His hurt must have shown in some way because Gansey’s face softened. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t think of any other meaning to your words.”

Ronan nodded, which showed that Gansey was forgiven. Sort of.

“So what is the problem,” Gansey asked.

“There’s no problem,” Ronan replied at once.

“Maybe you’re just nervous, man.”

“Yes. What if you mess up your speech?”

“Lynch, I had my speech ready months ago and trust me, it’s good,” Gansey grinned. “And I won’t let people mess it up. I’m your best man, Lynch. I’ll take care of it.”

But talking about speeches felt like risky territory. So feeling more guilty than reassured, Ronan asked about the books.

 

* * *

 

**Henry i need your help**

_ur using ur phone now lynch?? to text me?? im impressed_

**Shut up**

_ofc my man. what requires my help ??_

**… wedding related**  

_bro ur not backing out right_

**what**

_blue would never forgive me if i helped do anything that ended up hurting adam parrish_

**the fuck. you think i would back out**

_well no, but i’m just saying_

**I’m not backing out asshole, i just need some help**

_what is this about_

_wait_

_oh_

**whAT**

_i get it_

**no you dont**

_ur worried about the wedding night. well im honored lynch <33 i could give you some pointers ;-) _

Ronan didn’t bother with replying.

 

* * *

 

 The air outside was damp but there were no clouds in the sky. Adam was solid and warm beside Ronan and there was an hint of calmness in the air. The boy, or man, beside Ronan was breathing softly and he was playing with their hands. They both watched as Adam ran his fingers up and down Ronan’s and finally gripped his hand. Adam shifted his gaze to Ronan and Ronan felt a jolt go through his stomach.

 “Are you done,” Adam asked, not as softly as the night might have called for.

 Ronan avoided Adam’s gaze and instead fiddled with the leather bands around his wrists, but he slightly leaned his head toward Adam to reassure him that he had Ronan’s attention. “With what?”

 Adam replied instantly, “The vows, Ronan.”

 Ronan glanced at him and noticed how at peace Adam was looking. He was looking healthy, carefree, relaxed and pretty. Adam was always so fucking pretty. But as a raised eyebrow appeared on his boyfriend’s face, Ronan panicked. “Yes.”

 Adam looked slightly taken aback. Swallowing slightly, Ronan continued. “Are you?”

The guilt in his stomach turned to shame as he watched happiness appear on Adam’s face.

 “Mine’s done and ready,” Adam replied, grinning. “You’ll cry.”

 Ronan snorted, his heart still beating fast, “Doubt it.”

 Adam bumped his shoulder, “Will I cry during yours?”

 “No doubt about that.”

 Adam sent him an amused look, “Then it’s a bet, Lynch.”

 “You’ll lose, Parrish.”

 The smile Adam gave him made Ronan want to die.

 

* * *

 

“Sargent! I need your help. Asap.”

 Feet thundered down the stairs and Blue soon after appeared in the hallway. Her eyes were narrowed, “What’s so important that it can’t wait the ten minutes it would take for me to get ready, Lynch?”

Ronan smiled, “You can’t look much better than that, Sargent. Come with me.”

 He abruptly walked to his car, leaving Blue looking confused. As he opened his door, he saw her sigh and, with the air of someone who had lost, put on her shoes and follow him. He was seated by the time she opened the passenger door. “Was that a compliment or an insult,” she greeted.

Ronan didn’t reply, he only rolled his car out from the driveway and speeded off. Blue grumbled something about safety and how Gansey was a better driver, but by the time they were speeding down the streets of Henrietta, she was grinning as hard as him.

 But when they had been driving for 15 minutes and Ronan still hadn’t mentioned what he needed help with, Blue began her questioning. “So what’s the problem?”

Ronan kept driving.

 “Have you lost the ring?”

 Ronan sent her a look, but glanced away quickly, afraid that if he kept eye contact, Blue would somehow be able to read it in his eyes. He pretended to check the speed limit on a sign they were passing. They were going 40 mph too fast. Blue snorted at him.

 “Having seconds thoughts?”

 That got to him, “Why does everyone think that? Haven’t I made it perfectly clear that I want to be with Parrish? A lot.”

 Blue replied without missing a beat, “Yes, you have. So what else would be a problem? You’re marrying the man you love, Ronan. I don’t see anything wrong with the situation at all.”

At once he felt annoyed with her. Most likely because she was right. There wasn’t a problem. Except Adam wouldn’t be given the perfect wedding that Ronan wanted to give him, and Ronan would once again show what a fucking disappointment he was. He turned the car around and began driving back.

 He could feel Blue watching him. Watching him like Adam did, when he wanted to figure out what was bothering Ronan. It was equally endearing and annoying. Now it felt more annoying.

 “Ronan,” Blue said, her voice not soft, and he was grateful because he wouldn’t have been able to handle soft. “Tell me what the problem is.”

 But Ronan couldn’t, so he told her without telling her. “I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

 “You have to remember who’s coming to your wedding,” Blue replied. “We’re not exactly known for not messing things up.”

 “I know, I know. But- This wedding means a lot and it can’t go wrong.”

 Blue put her hand over his on the steering wheel and Ronan’s anger vanished. “It means a lot to you? Or him?”

 “Well, both of us. But Adam-”

 At the mention of Adam’s name, Blue’s grip on his hand tightened. _Fuck_. He’d slipped. By using Adam’s name he had somehow managed to show how much this bothered him, and how much he cared. Sometimes Ronan hated that he was surrounded by people who understood so much from so little and who could read him like a book.

 “Adam loves you, Ronan. It’s won’t matter as much as you think it will.”

 As much as Ronan appreciated Blue, his need for friendly love-advice had been more than filled. He swatted her hand away. “Alright Sargent, thanks. Now go home to your boyfriend- oh, sorry, _boyfriends_.”

 She smirked slightly, “I’m hoping that one was a compliment.”

 “Of course. Getting one boyfriend took me almost a year. You got two in like months. Congratulations.

 She laughed, “Thanks. I believe both of them are at the library right now.”

 “Nerds,” he replied and she nodded. “I’ll drive you.”

 

* * *

 

Cabeswater was quiet, for once, when Ronan arrived. And surprisingly, Ronan suddenly felt calm. The trees were swaying above him as he walked the familiar path down to the water. The new Cabeswater was as magical as the first, but as the path turned south, it felt as normal as an ordinary forest.

 Ronan found the place easily. They had picked it because it was beautiful, but hard to find. But as much time as Ronan spent here, he was certain that he would’ve been able to locate it with his eyes closed. The gravestone was cleaner than Ronan had expected and white flowers were growing in the sun beside it. Careful not to squash them, Ronan sat down, “Hey buddy.”

 There was no reply. Ronan knew that, yet still a part of him always hoped that this time, it would be. Still, the deceased in question hadn’t been much of a talker before either. But the lack of reply simultaneously made Ronan braver.

 “I haven’t written the vows. And I don’t know what to say.”

 Sitting alone in a sunlit forest with birds singing in the distance and the light reflecting in the lake, admitting your problems felt alright. Ronan slowly traced the word written on the tombstone and thought of nothing, for a while. In here, time was infinite. In Cabeswater, there was no fear of running out of time.

 He felt gratitude towards Cabeswater and the calmness it brought. _I made this._ There was a beauty to Cabeswater that could only come from dreams.

 Except that wasn’t true. Because when Ronan thought of beauty and love, he thought of his brothers. He thought of Gansey, Blue, and Henry. He thought of Opal, Chainsaw and the dead boy in front of him. And he thought of Adam. He could never have dreamt Adam. Because Adam was his own person in all his might and it was because of that that Ronan loved him. Because beautiful things doesn’t just come from dreams. Sometimes they come from a broken home in a trailer park. And sometimes they become beautiful, not out of spite or anger, but because they believe so strongly that they are, that the people who believes different simply become wrong.

 He proved them all wrong, Ronan thought proudly, ignoring the tears in his eyes. Wiping them subtly, as if there was someone here to see them, he looked at Noah’s grave once more. He could almost see Noah in front of him, rolling his eyes at Ronan’s problems. He would’ve had the right. Ronan felt equally as embarrassed and happy for his thoughts. Happy because it was a nice revelation and embarrassed because he cried. And suddenly, Ronan knew what to say. He stood up.

 He sent one last look at the grave, read the word written on it, and vowed to do just that.

 “See ya buddy.”

 

* * *

 

In the end, it was Adam who started to cry first.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed<3  
> Let me know what you think!!
> 
> Honestly, writing texts between Ronan and Henry was the most fun I've had writing in a while.


End file.
